This is Truly Chaos
by iftheworldwasonfire
Summary: For all of those people who are about to blow their brains out if they see one more "Commanders of Chaos" fic. Parody. T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi. So, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's noticed all of these "asasins off Chaos!1!" stories out there. Frankly, they're a little annoying. I'm sure there are some good ones out there, so kudos to those people, but the majority are just the same plot with a varying degree of cliched romance and grammatical/spelling errors. Yeah. I took it upon myself to write a parody of these stories, with Perlia as the main pairing (but it's totally screwed up) because *hipster voice* Percabeth is too mainstream. (Not really. I love that pairing so much.) Plus about fifty other love triangles and pointless OC pairings. Enjoy. Flames will be laughed at. And by the way, I've left out all grammatical errors because it makes me physically sick to write things like that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO.**

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Hi. I'm Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon. In case you didn't know that. And this is in my perspective, even though there will probably be twenty different POVs by the end of this chapter. Yeah.

I look over at Thalia and Nico, my best friends forever, even though in the actual books Annabeth and Grover are the ones I trust most/spend the most time with/are actually really close friends with. They're both just as pissed off as I am, because there was just a war with Gaia/Titans/some other powerful character. And instead of telling you about it in great detail, which would actually make a better story than this, I will proceed to give you a flashback that's badly written.

Now I'll announce the flashback, even though I've clearly just told you, the reader, that I'm having a flashback, plus the next part of the story is in italics, which indicates a flashback. Who am I even talking to? I'm pretty sure I'm breaking the fourth wall.

(By thinking about the fourth wall, Percy had broken it, and the authoress smacked her face into her keyboard.)

"_Come on, Thalia," I called out to Thalia, as we heroically and bravely slaughtered another hydra (like our fiftieth one that day, not that I was counting) with a brave and heroic air, our eyes blazing with a lot of heroism. "We can do this!" We then killed like, ten giants, probably more, but I'm just so brave and heroic that it's hard to keep track of all my heroic deeds. Nico came and scared everyone and did heroic things in a dark and brooding way. Then we went up to Olympus because apparently the war was over, even though I never even got to the climax or resolution of the conflict. Because that's how I roll. Anyways, the gods looked at us as we stood heroically in front of them. All of a sudden, Zeus stood up and a random guy that suddenly came up in the elevator, flanked by a girl and a boy on either side, walked in front of him._

"_Jack, son of Poseidon (and apparently his favorite one, even though you've never appeared before this story), Zayne, son of Zeus, and Jessica Sparklesbutterfly Lindsay Meggghannn Laquisha Fifi Pompadour, daughter of Hades, you slayed a giant! Or maybe it was hippocampi...whatever. You three saved Olympus and won the war for us! You're now all gods. Done and done, even though I didn't give you any warning whatsoever," Zeus bellowed very powerfully and god-like. _

"_What the hell?!" I yelled, but no one paid any attention to me. Which doesn't even make sense, because I've done a lot of heroic and brave things in the past._

"_That doesn't even make sense!" Thalia complained to me._

_ "I know! They didn't even do anything special!" I snapped._

_ "No, not that. These kids, who are all our siblings, just appear out of midair? They're the same age as us! Which means all three gods would have had these kids AT THE SAME TIME THEY HAD US. Which means that the prophecy could have been about one of them, the Big Three all broke the pact, and the books would have to be entirely rewritten to work with this story. Plus, why am I not in the Hunt?" Thalia questioned. _

_ "Whatever," I waved my hand. "The author will think of a bullshit reason why you left the Hunters later. We need justice NOW." I stormed over to gods._

_ "What the hell? We did quickly lists every damn monster they slayed in the supposed war and they killed one monster and they get to be gods?!" I yelled like a little child, all while being heroic and brave. _

_ All of the gods shrugged. "Sucks for you," Zeus told the three of us. "Nothing we can do."_

_ "That's so stupid!" Nico cried out, speaking his first line in this story, even though he's one of the main characters._

_ Oh, who am I kidding. You guys just came here to see Thalia and I._

_ I raged silently while still being unbelievably heroic. Then I saw something that made me metaphorically burst into flames. Annabeth, MY Annabeth, was kissing my half-brother Jack!_

_ "OMG!" I screeched like a heartbroken teenage girl. "Annabeth, how could you do this to me?! How could you cheat on me-right in front of my face, too!"_

_ Annabeth shrugged. "It was pretty easy actually. You just kiss someone that's not your boyfriend. But if you were asking WHY I cheated on you...well, you're not cool anymore. Jack is obviously the more powerful one, and he's a lot hotter, too. Plus, I love him, and of course I know this because it's not like he's an OC or anything. And by the way, I'm definitely this shallow in the books"_

_ "HE'S NOT MORE POWERFUL THAN ME!" I thundered angrily, bravely, and tragically. In a heroic sort of way._

_ "Who are you, even?" Poseidon asked, feigning amnesia. Great. Now the Olympians forgot Thalia, Nico, and I!_

_ "Fine. I see how this is," I said coldly. "Come on, Thalia. Let's go."_

_ "Aren't you forgetting someone?" Nico said, tapping his foot in a testy manner. _

_ I rolled my eyes. "And you too."_

_ Together we walked out of Olympus. Even though it's floating in the sky._

END FLASHBACK. There, I put it in big letters so you would know it ended, even though the last sentence is powerful and dramatic enough to tranquilize a moose, and I stopped talking in italics.

Thalia, Nico and I traveled for days with equipment that magically appeared out of nowhere. We couldn't believe Annabeth cheated, and that the Olympians had turned their backs on us. Plus, they gave our idiot half-siblings immortality!

One night, it was dark and cold and gloomy and depressing (just like Nico), a portal opened in front of us, and a guy stepped out. He was wearing long, silvery robes that were scattered with stars and looked very mystical. He had one gold eye and one silver eye, and in case he wasn't already enough of a Gary-Stu, he also looked young, but you could totally tell he had the wisdom of an ancient person. He was also glowing. And he looked powerful-I mean, he was carrying a giant-ass staff that seemed to have no purpose whatsoever. If that doesn't reek powerful, I don't know what does.

We were all so stunned by his appearance that it took me a little while to find my voice.

"Albus Dumbledore?" I asked in awe.

"No," the man said shortly. "I am Chaos, creator of the world!" Lightning flashed dramatically behind him, and five miles away, an earthquake happened. "I want you all to be my apprentices/generals/assassins/whatever the hell the story title is. The damn author can't make up her mind." He reached his hand out to us. "Join me, and I will teach you mystical things."

I looked at Thalia and Nico.

"He can't be bad. He's wearing cool robes," Nico said. I shrugged. He made an excellent point.

"Well, okay," I said, and together we stepped into the portal, not caring that we were following a total stranger that looked like he could be a monster in disguise into a portal that could be dangerous. Because it's not like this could have any repercussions, right?

* * *

Now it's Annabeth talking. See! Percy warned you there would be a bunch of different perspectives.

It's been 1000 years since Thalia, Nico, and Percy have gone missing. How am I still alive? Well, the gods gave me, Clarisse, Silena, who is somehow still alive, Travis, Connor, Katie, and Grover immortality for some reason that doesn't even make sense. Maybe a war is coming up or something. But like the honey badger we all don't give a shit. 1000 years. Grover and Chiron looked for them, but they seemed to have disappeared off of the face of the planet. The rest of us didn't care, even though we're all supposed to be really good friends with them.

Jack and I broke up. Or we might still be together. Who knows? Or cares? Point is, I want Percy back. And by the gods, will get him back.

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**...umm...yeah. Nothing to say for myself. I just wanted to get back into writing, because I had like a mid-summer crisis. As you can see, this parody is not over. I'm thinking maybe five chapters at the most? It's just a small side-project. As you can see, I've incorporated a lot of cliches not only from the Chaos stories but from PJO fandom in general in to this sarcastic, cracky piece of word vomit. Fun stuff ;)**

**If you flame me, I honestly don't give a shit. I'll just moderate it, so it's both a waste of your time and my time. Remember, readers, that this is a parody. It's not intended to harm the people who actually write those Chaos stories, it's intended to give me and some other readers a good chuckle.**

**Review please?**

**~lmf**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey Readers! Hope you all had a great Halloween and that it wasn't ruined by Hurricane Sandy (freaking Poseidon, wants all the candy for himself). I am continuing this, as it gives me quite a few "lolz" to write. So chapter two! And thanks for all the reviews, they all made me smile and laugh a lot.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO, nor do I own the plot being parodied in this story.**

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Annabeth here. What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, thousand years, yada yada, immortality, yada yada. No one cares. I mean, not that much has changed, which is weird. I guess our development of technology plateaued already. The only notable thing that happened was Skittles finally came out with a blue skittle. Taste the rainbow, my ass. Last time I checked, blue was in the rainbow. Ah. That reminds me of Percy. I miss him so much, even though he's probably dead now, because again. It's been 1000 years.

I'm talking a walk on the beach right now, feeling the wind blow through my long, princess-like curls, and the sound of the ocean in my ears. Unfortunately, when you walk, it's probably not the best idea to have your eyes closed, as I found out when I promptly tripped over something and faceplanted into the ground.

"Teh fuqqq?!" I screamed like a tween fanfiction author who has no concept of spelling or the English language, clawing sand out of my mouth. I glared at the thing I tripped over, which was...A SATYR?! The satyr groaned, obviously in pain, and blinked at me, coughing up blood. "Wow. You look like a mess," I said tactfully.

"Th-tha...th...than..." the satyr wheezed, almost going cross-eyed with pain.

"Spit it out!" I snapped, picking at my nails.

"Th-thana...than..th-"

"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, MAN!" I screeched, slapping the satyr and sending him sprawling back on the sand, paying no attention to the fact that he was _freaking bleeding_.

"Thanatos," the satyr whispered. "He's...coming..." His eyes closed, and his head rolled back.

"Well, shit," I said crankily. "Better go tell Chiron." I stalked off towards the Big House, leaving the wounded satyr on the beach. Who cares? He's just a filler character, anyways.

* * *

MYSTERY PERSON POV OOOHHHH MYSERIOUS IT'S NOT LIKE ALL THREE MAIN CHARACTERS HAVE GONE MISSING OR ANYTHING WHO COULD IT POSSIBLY FREAKING BE...

Sweat poured down my face as my sword furiously clanged against Skyflash's, and her light blue eyes narrowed as she smirked at me, her full lips twitching upwards. Vanquisher tried to stab her in the side from behind, but she kicked towards him and flicked his flat blade out of his hand with a graceful swing of her leg. Immediately, he flipped away from her and grabbed his weapon before sprinting over to me, where we parried each other's thrusts and stabs for awhile until Skyflash got bored and decided to break out her explosive arrows. Oh gods, we were just too badass to handle.

"Stop," an even-tempered voice said quietly, and immediately, before the word was even over, we stopped fighting and fell into perfect formation, with Skyflash to my right and Vanquisher to my left, as we all waited with anticipation as to what Chaos would say. He eyed us all before breaking out into a smile. "You all are doing extremely well; in just a thousand years you have surpassed all the commanders/assassins/brain-washed children I have preyed on-I mean, you have done well."

"Thank you, master," we all said in unison.

Then his face fell, eyebrows furrowing a little, making him look more powerful and deadly than he already was. "I have something to tell you three that you may not like."

Skyflash, Vanquisher and I looked at each other uneasily. Shit was going down if Chaos actually admitted something was bad.

"What is it, master?" Skyflash asked, frowning. I squeezed her hand with mine, and she gave me a small smile.

Chaos walked over to the window of the training room, and looked out, visions of galaxies and other mystical things he liked flashing across the glass. Of course, we weren't actually in space. We would asphyxiate. Duh. But Chaos liked being reminded how big an uncontrollable the universe was. He stared out the window for a long time before Vanquisher lost his temper.

"AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR YOU LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW AT GALAXIES N' SHIT," he burst out, flailing out spastically.

Chaos shot him a glare. "Vanquisher, what did I say about going on tumblr?"

"But the cats!" Vanquisher whined. "And the pictures of food and sunsets and gifs! GIFS EVERYWHE-"

"Stop!" Chaos thundered powerfully and mystically, his robes flaring out behind him dramatically.

"Quit it, Chaos, we got bored of that like seven hundred years ago," Skyflash rolled her eyes.

"Why I-" Chaos bristled, and for a moment, we were all sure he was going to spontaneously combust on the spot. Then he waved his hand dismissively. "Whatevs. I like totes don't care. Anyways. Thanatos is rising, or came back to life or something, so we have to be big-ass heroes to Camp Halfblood and the Olympians, even though they're divine beings and are probably capable of handling this by themselves."

"WHAT?!" we all yelled.

"How dare you make us go back...there!" I snapped, glaring at the cloaked man.

"We swore never to go back!" Skyflash said through gritted teeth.

"You must," Chaos said.

"But-" Vanquisher said.

"Must."

"That's not-"

"MUST!"

"Okay, Jeez! Take some Midol for gods sake! Calm the Hades down," I said.

"Stormbreaker," Chaos gave me a point look, and I felt a wave of fear wash over me before my master broke out into a grin. "You have officially passed the sassy backtalk test. Congratulations."

"About time," Skyflash complained, and rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time, but high-fived me anyways.

"Dismissed," Chaos said, and we scrambled towards our private quarters.

"Damn it," Skyflash groaned. "Stormbreaker, I really do not want to go back to Camp Lame-blood."

"It's Percy in private quarters," I replied. DUN DUN DUN. Yeah, it's Percy Jackson. Bet you didn't expect that, did you, suckers?

"Okay, _Perseus,_" Thalia teased, sticking out her tongue at me.

"Nice one," Nico said, and they bumped fists.

Now, since the authoress wants me to describe how I and my friends have changed, I'll just enter a little paragraph of pure description right here that has no other purpose but to make the characters more OC.

Nico's face had thinned out, and so had the rest of his body. He was no longer the chubby kid that played juvenile card games. His onyx eyes glittered with mischief, slightly sunken into his head, and his black hair curled slightly at the nape of his neck and around his ears, but it was thick and set off his olive coloring. He was shorter than me, but still tall for his age, and quite gangly. He wore black pants with a black t-shirt that clung to his muscled torso and strong boots, along with minimal armor-a chestplate and gauntlets on his arms. A leather scabbard that hung flat against his hip, where he sheathed his flat blade. He was all sharp angles, and looked like a walking weapon himself.

Thalia's hair grew down to her back, shiny as a raven's wing, and she let it down more often than not, but had it up in a messy ponytail right now. Strands of her hair wound and braided a silver circlet into her hair, much like that of Artemis' hunters, but this one lacked the moon symbol that marked the Olympian goddess. Her blue eyes had an uncanny habit of taking your breath away if you stared into them too long, and she still surrounded them with black eyeliner, though not as much as before, seeing as she had grown out of her punk/goth phase. She had numerous freckles that spread from her nose to her high cheekbones, and it was rare to find her without a smirk on her plump, red lips. She was the shortest out of all of us, and though dainty and delicate, packed a huge punch. She, like Nico, wore all black, with a blue breastplate and gauntlets inlaid with blue stones that helped conduct electricity. A silver quiver was strapped to her back, along with her bow, but she kept Aegis and her collapsible spear in a belt that slung over her hips.

Now onto me! You know you wanna hear about how hot I got. And damn, you got reason to. I am the tallest out of all three of us, with toned muscles all over my body. My skin is still as tan as it always was, even though we rarely went outside. My hair is shorter, sweeping upwards in a handsome, boyish fashion. My eyebrows are perfectly shaped above my stunning green eyes. I, like Thalia and Nico, also am wearing an all black ensemble, with a sea green chestplate over my perfectly shaped pecs (how I hate to cover my babies). I was given a double-toned sword by Chaos, but still use Anaklusmos on occasion.

There. Now you know what sexy people I'm talking about. Back to the story.

"I don't want to go back there, either," I said. "But hey, at least we won't have to deal with the same, _idiotic, back-stabbing, orange shirt-wearing twits who boldly cast us out of Olympus without a second thought-"_

"Calm thoughts, Percy, calm thoughts," Thalia said, laying a hand on my shoulder. I took a couple heaving breaths.

This was going to be quite a taxing ordeal.

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**I don't even know guys okay just review please. **


	3. Chapter 3

**ummmm...hi. So I'm back after what, like six months? Hopefully I'll stay, you never know. I hope I'll finish this story.**

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Rick Riordan does (bless him).**

**also this chapter has a shit-ton of cursing**

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**Thalia POV**

'In the mysterious and alluring dark of the night, Chaos threw open the doors to our chambers, and beckoned towards us with his powerful and almighty staff. It was time.'

HAH! Yeah fucking right. What really happened was he spent five minutes trying to open our door, burst inside, and promptly tripped over his ridiculous flowing robes (Seriously. They don't even have a point in this parody other than comical use).

_Godsdamnit, Thalia!_ the authoress snapped, pounding her fist next to a bowl of some sort of unhealthy snack and upending it, getting grease all over her computer keys. _At least pretend like you're trying to make an effort to not break the fourth wall!_

Fine. Whatever.

Anyways, as soon as Chaos got back on his feet, gathering his mystical robes with a haughty sniff, he said, "Let us proceed to Camp Half-blood, my home skillets, and eff some shit up."

His small speech was met by incredulous stares from his three assassinapprenticegeneralkid nappees.

"Okay, what the actual hell," Nico snorted, rolling over on his bed, dark curls askew.

"I'm with Death Breath on this one," I said dryly, and Nico let out an indignant "Hey!" in my direction. "First, please never, ever, EVER for the love of the gods and all things holy talk like that again. Ever."

"But-" Chaos protested.

"NO," all three of us firmly stated.

"Second," I continued, "Get the hell out. It's like three in the morning and I'm not dealing with this shit any earlier than nine."

Chaos glowered. "YOU DARE TALK TO ME THIS WAY, MY MERE KIDN-I MEAN, ASSASSINAPPRENTICEGENERAL?!"

I stood up and cracked my knuckles, blowing a huff of air out of my mouth and narrowing my eyes.

"OHHHHHHHH!" Percy and Nico chorused, standing up in anticipation (and to get a better vantage point, I imagine). "SHIYUTS GOING DOWNNNNNN." I nodded my head in satisfaction. Damn right.

Chaos glared at me heterochromatically and crossed his arms, turning his nose up to the sky.

I smirked. "Third, I'm on my period."

Chaos' face blanched and he immediately started backing away. "Okay I'll see you guys at ten. Peace out my-"

"I _don't_ think you want to finish that sentence," Percy warned, jabbing a finger towards me as unsubtle as he could. I rolled my eyes but Percy prevented me the arduous pain of listening to more of Chaos' drivel.

As soon as Chaos was out of sight, I flopped back on my bed, and the other two did the same. "Thank gods," I moaned. "I thought he would never leave."

"Me either," Percy said into his pillow, stretching like a cat. "And we're incredibly lucky he hasn't realized we've used the 'PMSing Thalia' excuse about five times this month.

"Yeah, well it's like she's always on it," Nico snickered, and I would've fried off his eyebrows had I not been so tired.

"Oh, shove off," I grumbled, and quickly fell asleep.

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**Percy POV**

"I have gathered you, my assassinapprenticegenerals," Chaos paused. "It's Chapter Three and the goddamn author _still _can't make up her mind?!" He snorted in disbelief. "Fucking bitch."

_DON'T BREAK THE FOURTH WALL,_ the authoress screeched, somehow upending another bowl of fat-disguised-as-food, and smashed her face against the keyboasasfkFKDJLGHLSKSSLkh. She frowned. _And is it really that hard to stay in character?! _She frowned thrice and smiled because she had used the word thrice. _And I'm not a fucking bitch! You are._

"Too true," Thalia snickered, coughing daintily when Chaos shot a glare her way.

"_If I may continue,"_ Chaos snapped, clearing his throat viciously.

"No one's stopping you," I rolled my eyes, holding in a smile as Chaos fumed. The three of us exchanged triumphant glances. We literally drip of sass-we are sass_masters_.

"I have gathered you, my homedawgs-"

"_ABSOLUTELY NOT_."

"Fine, fine!" Chaos said irately. "I have gathered you here because today we venture from our humble abode-" he swept his arm grandly, gesturing at nothing in particular "-to the dastardly Camp Half-blood. Thanatos hath risen, and you, disciples of the almighty CHAOS-"

"Geez, could this guy's ego get any bigger?" Nico murmured, and I had to pretend to sneeze to keep from snorting with laughter as Chaos continued to rant in the background, complete with smoke effects, more grand gestures, and facial expressions to boot.

"-and we will _save them all!_" Chaos finished, pulling the string to a confetti cannons. A huge cloud of silver and gold glitter spewed into the air, finding purchase in our clothes and hair, raining down like a christening from Chaos himself.

Thalia spit out a mouthful of glitter while Nico whipped his head around like a dog, trying to rid his dark locks of the offending substance.

I just stood there numbly as the sparkly material fell into my eyes.

"Erm...I may have overdone it on that one," Chaos said sheepishly, and Thalia stomped off, raving about taking a shower and castrating celestial beings with their fucking glitter cannons.

* * *

**Nico POV**

Awwww hells yes! It's my time to shine. Finally it's from my point of view. Freaking authors never let me have these things.

Right now we're on pegasi-all three of them black with silver armor and murderous eyes that look like glowing coals. Oh, and they trail fire. Pretty cool, huh?

Well, unfortunately not for Thalia. She was looking a little green as she shut her eyes and buried her face into the poor animal's neck, who looked like it rolled its eyes.

"ARE WE THERE YET?!" she shrieked as we suddenly took a nosedive for no apparent reason.

"Ummm...do you want me to lie?" Percy said as all of our horses started doing choreographed corkscrews and flips.

"IF IT'LL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, YES!" Thalia wailed.

"Okay then. We don't have an hour and a half left until we reach Camp Half-_destroyed as soon as I get there_," he said, growling the end.

"Really?" she lifted the lid of one eye and searched Percy's face.

"Yeah, we only have around an hour and twenty minutes left!" he said cheerfully, and Thalia groaned nauseously.

"Nice one," I snickered, and Percy and I bumped fists, just reveling in the sheer awesomeness of our friendship. Srsly wer liek dah kewlest.

"That's all fine and _dandy_, but I swear _this thing is trying to kill meeeeee,_" Thalia shrilled as the pegasi plunged into a helix shape. "Does Chaos really have nothing better to do than to make up these ridiculous flying formations?!" Her pegasus snorted in agreement.

Percy shrugged, suddenly doing a handstand on his pegasus, his armor flashing in the bright sun. He sure was an adrenaline junkie (read: stupid). "I think it's mostly meant to dodge Zeus' lightning bolts. But since your dear old daddy-" he took one hand off of the pegasus' back to gesture towards Thalia "-knows we're coming to save their sorry asses, no lightning."

"He's not my dad anymore," Thalia snapped, glaring at Percy, who was now doing a backbend on the pegasus for no reason other than to piss off the raven-haired girl. "And get down from there before you fall off the damn flying horse!" The pegasus whinnied at her in anger. "I'm not saving your sorry ass if you do!"

"As you wish, m'lady," Percy said with a half-mocking smile, flipping once and sitting back down on the winged animal.

I gagged. I can't stand when they openly show affection in front of me.

After about a minute and a half of silence, I spoke up. "This is really boring. And it's taking too long."

"Just be patient and wait," Percy responded, braiding a section of his pegasus' mane. "Also, this majestic pegasus is going to look _fabulous_ after I'm done with it." The animal in question neighed in panic and terror.

"Wait? _Wait?_" I snapped.

"Oh gods, here we go again," Thalia groaned, rolling her eyes.

"I DID MY WAITING!"

"Nico, stop-"

"TWELVE YEARS OF IT!"

"It was funny the first time, but now-"

"IN AZKABAN!"

_What the hell is your problem?! _the author shrieked. _NO CROSSOVERS!_

"You literally ruin every good thing that could happen to this story," I grumbled, sticking out my tongue petulantly.

* * *

After about an hour of I spy, punch-buggy, and the alphabet game (all of them causing fists to be swung and near falling off), we spotted the camp, nestled in the forest.

"Thalia," Percy commanded, and she smiled dangerously. Immediately, we both gave her a wide berth. She shakily stuck one fist in the air and propelled a blinding streak of lightning from it, which shot up into the cheerful blue sky. Immediately, clouds began to swirl, shadowing our faces dramatically, and wind darted through our hair-Thalia's whipped like a maniac, strands flying across her face. Lightning plummeted down from the clouds, never getting close enough to us to hurt us, and the air smelled like sulfur.

I whistled in appreciation. "Damn Thalia-I mean Skyflash." We had switched to our codenames, wanting to relish in the surprise we would garner from the campers when we revealed ourselves. "This one's even better than last time."

She smirked. "Practice, bitch." I flipped her off.

"Stop fighting. Chaos expects us to make an entrance," Percy quipped, rolling his eyes and smiling at the last part.

"Yeah, well, Chaos expects a lot of things," Thalia grumbled. "He should expect one of my arrows up his-"

"Please, we know you're just saying that," I chided. Thalia sighed, but we all knew it was the truth. We owed Chaos a lot, no matter how ridiculous he is sometimes. Speaking of ridiculosity...

"Show time!" Percy chirped mockingly, green eyes alight. Thalia adjusted her helmet quickly (we were all wearing them, to make our reveal more dramatic) and flew to the right of Percy, and I flew to the left.

When we saw the gawking campers ("Idiots," Thalia murmured) I smirked, meeting Thalia's blue eyes. "Let's do this." As soon as the words left my mouth, we criss-crossed and swooped in front of Percy, doing a complicated series of movements that left many of the campers gasping and gaping. Percy, meanwhile, was _standing_ on his pegasus, hands outstretched and gathering the rain that had started to fall from the storm clouds into two twin balls at his fingertips.

"Show off," I muttered good-naturedly.

Thalia twisted her hand and a gigantic bolt of lightning seared the sky, the sound of thunder drowning out any other sound. We all clung to our pegasi, streamlining out _super sexy_ bodies for ultimate speed as we shot forward. The moment we touched down, Percy released the water from his fingertips, and the droplets were illuminated as Thalia sent a shower of sparks overhead. Oh, where was I? Fangirling in the corner because _we are so badass like omfg I can't even._

Huh. Maybe I do need to stay off of Tumblr.

Chiron gently cantered over towards us. He paused, seemingly at a loss for words (we do that a lot). "That was...quite an entrance."

We all smirked beneath our helmets, dismounting simultaneously.

"Please, that's nothing. If Chaos had been in charge there would have been background music and dancing routine, with an acappella number by us," Thalia murmured, only loud enough for Percy and I to catch.

"You are Chaos' disciples?" Chiron asked.

"Yes," Percy replied carefully, devoid of emotion.

"Would you mind telling me your names? I'm sure the rest of camp would like to know."

"Vanquisher," I said offhandedly.

"I'm Skyflash," Thalia smirked.

"Stormbreaker," Percy said shortly.

"I see. Now, if you would please follow me, I can show you to your quarters," Chiron said, turning to lead us away.

"But wait," Percy said, holding up a hand. We face all the campers, who still haven't picked their mouths up off of the grown. We see a couple of familiar faces, surprisingly. I thought they would've been dead and rotting by now. "We haven't introduced ourselves."

That was my cue. I carefully lifted the strong helmet off of my head, and there were gasps from all around. I flashed the crowd a sardonic smile, and whispers rose from everywhere, gasps punctuating the crowds' incessant chatter.

"Me next," Thalia smiled. She took of her helmet with a flourish, and her long hair fluttered in the wind like freaking Pocahontas or some shit. She appraised the campers coolly with her icy gaze and balanced the heavy piece of armor on her cocked hip in a way that screamed 'Regina George.'

We both turned towards Percy, all three of us revelling in the attention.

He gripped the helmet and lifted it off.

* * *

**D-D-DAMNNNNNNN shit's going down.**

**Does anyone know how this should end. Because I don't. help.**

**Reviews are much appreciated.**


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